Angel friends...

I don’t want to do anything but understand and I know it’s not MY plan but can’t I at least peek at the blueprint?

Consciousness lends itself to a certain sensitivity. And while I don’t claim to be such, I feel my feelings right now.

Not directly connected but certainly affected.

When my heart aches, my mind goes to work because it’s not yet fit enough to grasp such concepts. The longer I’m ignorant to what’s really going on, the more frightened I become.

Shuffling through my theories; I wonder if I’ll discover the truth.  

The angel of death keeps coming closer and closer, each time grabbing precious jewels, good young people. I should find comfort in knowing that these newly made angels have changed many lives while living theirs to the fullest, creating warm memories for friends and legacies for themselves. Clearly fulfilling their duties to this world and seemingly “ready” to depart from it. Although it may seem that way to us, God calls no man before his time. HE is not cruel or spiteful; but all knowing. Almighty.

I’ve never questioned death and I still am not. I will admit, though, that I am afraid. Fearful because I associate with the same type of people God has called home in recent months. All of my friends are living positively impacting lives…scholars, mentors, members of distinguished organizations, charitable and some even wise beyond their years. I can’t help but to think about the possibility of one of my friends being taken away from me. I have no idea how I would cope with such a tragedy.

The reality is: no matter how hard I try, I’ll never be able to fully understand death. It’s and inevitable part of life that we don’t have to like but we do have to accept. If we’re smart, we’ll take heed from our angel friends and live our lives fully and unselfishly. We can leave this earth at any minute. How do you want to be remembered?

Self Made?

Go Go Gadget

Stop the madness

Abort the sadness

Seen through these 3 dimensional glasses

Men at war

Raging seas,

Rumbling terrain,

Turbulent skies,

Confuse the masses

Yet, churches are empty

…so are the masses

Mosques and temples hear echoes

& all doubters can be found at the bar.

Ultraviolet rays

Laser beam vision

Ultra violence rages in the state of my existence

Tear stains on the face of a princess

Tatted tears on the face of a genius

Smiling faces tell lies

Nobody knows the difference

Jaded commitments

Invaded persistence

Blatant ignorance mixed with nonexistent repentance

& a bold admittance of it all.

At Cruising Altitude

"I wrote this while 30,000 ft in the air, stewardess complimenting me on my nappy hair..." -Kendrick Lamar
Naw, I really did write this on a plane tho. Enjoy :)

What it feels like is nice
What it feels like is right
But...what it feels like is slight
Light, bright and airy
Breezy & carefree
Genuinely effortless connection
Full of affection
Void of deception
Easy not forced
Local; no outsource

What makes it special is what it lacks
And I long for just that
Evolution into what it isn't
But maybe we desire something different
If I had my way
I'd put aside the fear
And tell you how I feel
Doubt would disappear
And we'd be a fairytale...

When I sin with you, it’s heavenly
& for you, I'll save the rest of me
You already light up my days and nights
Light up my life
I'll be your orange moon as long as you promise to shine, pledge to us and be mine
Just say yes and I'm all in
100 percent
I've waited for this and now I can't resist
We've grown let's continue to grow
So much I want to share with you
Care for you
Be there for you.

POEM for Trez

A while back a college friend of mine, who also writes, asked me to trade poems with him. I just came across what I wrote on my puter so I decided to share...enjoy :)



POEM for Trez


This is my POEM for you; Prophecy of Excellence Manifested
When I look at you I see a promise on your life
Destined for greatness and overcoming all your strife 
I cant be too sure about exactly what it is 
Im not as close to you as I could be but I know you have a gift
Paused by complications
Yet proceeding with patience
One of the reasons that I know you'll make it 
One foot after the other, staying on your path
Even if they doubt you
Even if they laugh
Most of all staying hungry 
and not settling for less
Steady striving for excellence
Acheiving the best
and I know its difficult at times
cuz I see myself in you
So its only in my nature that I 
wish success for you
They say real recognizes real 
well my talent recognizes yours
and if you had any doubt before
I hope this reassures 
That you were made to be great 
So keep doing what youre doing
Though the naysayers hate 
and the critics keep booing 
Know you got fans in the stands who wanna see you acheive 
Keep grindin like the Clipse and one day you'll be G.O.O.D. like Pusha T ;)

essence.

Smooth black

Cold white

Porcelain

Suede

Coal

Chalk

Mood

Walk

Style

Talk

Grace…me with your presence, presents, precious essence.

Rant: Artistic Accountablity

Hey y'all I know its been a minute. I've still been writing and having random thoughts just haven't really had a chance to get on here and post them....

Today I asked a friend (code name: Kels ) if they had Watch the Throne. Kels response: "Yea but I like the Carter IV better" Me: *gasp* Whaaaat? Of course, to each is own but I simply can not believe that people think Lil Wayne's latest "album" is a good collection of work. Carter IV would be a good album for an artist like Yung Berg or Soulja Boy. While WTT is a fantastically produced compilation that many consider to already be a classic. So you ALREADY KNOW I had to express myself on this topic. Kels went on to say "WTT is for educated people...I don't wanna hear about how smart or rich you are" "I want to hear something real like this" As we listen to the blandest flows and corniest punchlines of one of Weezy's latest tracks. -_-  I can agree that it is refreshing to hear an artist rap about something that relates more to your personal situation but there are far ways better of musically expressing such things.
I brought up the fact that I used to be a die hard Wayne fan and LOVE a lot of his older work. So, I think I have fair reason to disapprove of the sloppiness he's been putting out as of late. Kels says that because Lil Wayne is Lil Wayne, at this point he can say whatever he wants and we'll still listen.

Well let me tell yall that I am NOT a part of that "WE". And this brings me to my main topic of discussion for this post...
At what point in your success as an artist (or whatever your craft, profession or title) is it ok to stop putting forth your best efforts??

1) I'm an artist and I find it offensive for someone else who considers them self an artist to present a work of "art" that lacks vision, thought, effort, preparation and be rewarded for their sub-par presentation. Artists are often viewed as sensitive, I'll take that. But I take pride in what I do because I have a passion for it and whatever I'm working on, I make sure the I do my absolute best with that project.

2) So while still listening the the stupid Carter IV, (I promise this is not supposed to be a Wayne bashing post OR an album review but I need these comparisons to make my point! LOL) I commented that a punchline didn't make any sense. Kels response: "It's Wayne. It doesn't have to make sense." OH WORD?
When did that become OK? If I worked at T-Mobile and gave a customer an answer that didn't make any sense, I would be held accountable to divulging false/confusing information. Right? Right. And if I were the customer, the next time I went to T-Mobile, I would want to speak to someone else who knows what they're talking about!!  Why don't we hold artists accountable for poor production? Why do we feel obligated to support their crappy products because of their "status" or previous successes?

3) Another thing that Kels said in reference to WTT was "If I wanted to hear from somebody educated, I would talk to a teacher" *tires screeeech* o_O Really dawg? Fa real? Since when was an educated artist who incorporated his/her knowledge in his/her music something to sneer at? I can agree that I don't want to hear conscious rap 24/7. I can appreciate the brain cell killing sounds of Waka Flocka every now and then. But seriously, that statement rocked my world. The fact that you educate yourself and its present in your work shows me that you take pride and invest time in to your work. I admire that. Makes me want to work that much harder to improve my skills set and expand my brand.

Welp, I AM an artist and I AM sensitive about my shit so I could very well be reading too far into the fact that one of my friends prefers Carter IV over Watch The Throne. LOL Those are just some thoughts that come to mind for me when I think about today's entertainment industry as a whole and how it lacks so much integrity. Like how reality tv shows are popping up left an right but actors and actresses who have trained all their lives cant find work. But that's another story for another day.

I think this rant is just about finished.For now I'll continue to support artists who are dedicated, hardworking, innovative and inspiring. I'll also remain motivated to do my very best at whatever I attempt despite how successful I may become.

Later days dewds.
Amber Jeanine

luv him

youre all i think about
And all I wish to know
Other dudes dont even compare
If they tried I wouldnt give em a chance
Everything I ever hoped for
Everything I ever needed I found in you
And its hard to believe but my dream came true
that dream is you, us and what we share
I love you more and more each day 
to no fault but my own i dont think you now how much i actually care
I love when we're together and I hate when youre not here.
and for you, us Ive shed many tears 
I want us to last cuz this is like something
Ive never felt in the past 
Too good to be true
but I put my trust in you...

(written idk when but not recently lol!)